Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Getting back to it

I had a fill today and I finally feel like I'm going to be able to get back on track.  I have recently been having some medical issues and had to have an unfill about a month ago, a whole 2 cc's taken out, couple that with the steroid I was taking and the food that found it's way into my mouth and hello 10 pounds.  UGH!!!  It was amazing to me, before, when I was 330 pounds, I probably could have gained 10 lbs and never really noticed, but this 10 I noticed and momma no likey!!!  My doctor has been slow to add back the 2 cc's and said that the weight gained may be tough to come off because it's due to the steroid.  I have been working out and trying to get back on track food wise, but for that two weeks that I didn't have restriction, it truly was like I had no band and my bad habits came back and they came back with flying colors.  I kind of feel like I have had to start all over again. 

So, going into this morning, I had lost 5 lbs since I was there two weeks ago and doc said I had .5 to get back to where I was prior to the unfill.  Because, lucky for me, it's that time of the month, I was already feeling snug, we decided on only .25 of the .5, and I think it's just fine.  I had a protein shake before my work out and then some soup tonight and can definitely feel the restriction.  I so hope that this gets me back on track. 

I forgot to mention in my previous posts that when I started this journey I weighed in at 331 lbs.  As of my wedding day I weighed 201, making me down 130 lbs.  I'm currently trying to get back to that.  It's been hard, before the wedding, I had a goal, a HUGE end zone.  I wanted to look slammin on my wedding day and I truly felt that way, but then there was a let down and now I'm having trouble coming up with goals.  All part of my process I guess. 

All that being said, I am so happy with my fill and in some ways appreciate the restriction, it's almost welcoming, now I feel like I have to get back on track. I will, I will, I will.....

Good night all.....


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A photo journey....well the start of it...

Below are some before photos, I'm slightly uncomfortable unveiling these pictures, because not many people have seen them, but they are part of my story and my journey so it wouldn't be fair to not post them.  The very last one was from the morning of surgery.

The ones below are from 6-mos post op.

And lastly, these are the most recent, mostly from the wedding, because I haven't done more recent swimsuits photos.

So, that's all for now.  Eventually I will add some of the family, mostly Ash and our four legged babies. 
Until then....

New to the Area

I'm a bit late to this blogging game, I was banded in July of 2009 and words cannot express how much reading other bander's blogs have helped me on this journey so far.  I had toyed with creating my own and my husband kept pushing and pushing.  I have had the thing set up for a while, but was having a hard time coming up with a name and what not.  I still haven't gotten the hang of decorating the background and what not, so any help in that area would be great. 

So, a little history about me.  I grew up here, in the Tri-Cities.  I had a good childhood, my parents divorced when I was young, but luckily for me they remained friends and I haven't ever really experienced the nastiness that divorce can bring.  I absolutely attribute that to my parent's.  They are great.  My mom remarried as did my dad (2 more times).  I have twin older brothers and one younger sister, all from my dad.  I am extremely close to both sets of parents, each in different ways. 

For as long as I can remember, I have been a bigger girl.  I mean, I see pictures of me as a kid and I don't really think I was fat, but definately chubby and I can remember always comparing myself to other girls my age.  I was active, I played soccer, basketball and was on the swim team, but I never hit a point where I grew and thinned out.  I grew, but in all directions.  By high school, I was definately at a point where I was just continuously gaining.  I continued to stay active, but I don't think being really serious about losing weight was all that important to me.  I wasn't some kind of outcast, I had a lot of friends and was very active in things at school.  Never had a boyfriend, but academics and my friends were always more important to me anyways.  I knew different parts of high school may have been different if I were thinner, but I think I definately hid behind my weight, it was just easier that way.

That hiding definately followed me to college.  I moved a few hours away to go to college.  It was my first time away from my family and it was quite an experience.  I had been on so many different diets and food plans in high school and my younger years that once I was on my own, I realized I was in control of those choices instead of my food choices being made for me.  I went a little crazy and ate just about anything I wanted and as much of it as I wanted.  After a few years living on campus, I moved into Spokane, and lived a few different places, moved quite a bit actually.  I continued to balloon and finally decided to try Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time.  I did so great.  I lost like 30 or 40 pounds and was feeling wonderful, the best I had in years.  I finally got a job doing what I went to school for, but it required me moving home, which was fine, but I quickly forgot about me and I took myself off the list.  I gained that 30-40 pounds back and then some.  I was partying alot and making not so good choices.  I met someone, thought I had fallen in love and quickly moved in with him.  It was not what I expected it to be and he left, abruptly and in the worst way imaginable.  Shortly after, I met Ash, my new husband. We dated for 2 1/2 years before I decided to have the band.  I was finally at a point that I wanted to do something about my weight and I wanted to do it for myself, not someone else.  I was working out like crazy with my best friend and trainer, she will from here on be referred to as Megsterini!!  I was on meal plans and doing everything I had been taught for all those years that were supposed to help you lose weight, except I wasn't.

My mom and I were chatting on the phone one afternoon as I was wandering through Wal-Mart.  She was treading lightly around wanting to talk to me about my weight and my struggles as it has often been a sense of contension for us.  She finally just came right out and said that a family friend had had the lapband and thought that it might be a good choice for me.  I laughed and said to her, funny, I had been considering looking in to the band myself.  It was like we were finally on the same page about something.  I attended the informational meeting, with my parents and Ash.  Unfortunately, my insurance wasn't going to pay, but once I decided that I wanted to have the procedure, all of a sudden the money found it's way into my bank account and I was on my way.  Because I was self-pay, my process went quickly and before I knew it, I was recovering from surgery.  I have now been banded for 14 months and have lost 130 pounds.  My initial goal is 150 lbs, but I am sure that once I hit that, I am going to want to continue losing, but at the time of surgery, 150 pounds seemed totally doable.  Now that I am 20 pounds or so away, I completely think that more losing is in my future. 

On a non-weight loss note, Ash proposed to me in December of 2008 and we were married on June 27, 2010.  It was the most perfect day I have experienced so far in my life.  Even though I was not at "goal" weight at the time of the wedding, I felt so incredibly beautiful.  Being banded has been harder than any other weight loss plans I have been on, so anyone who mentions or asks about it being an easy way out, I quickly give them a run-down of my experience, hoping to dissuade those thoughts.  I have good days, bad days, great days and horrible days, but nothing compares to the new freedom I have found.  I finally put myself back on the list and it's a great place to be. 

Here's to many more posting and making of new friends.....banded and unbanded....

I will attempt to post some pics, just have to figure out how to do that....

until next time..